sorrow and joy

my dear friends, my heart is literally aching right now. it is so unexplainable. one of the reasons why i have been MIA lately is not only that i'm right smack in the middle of my finals, but one of my best friends Risa, who has been struggling with a very rare and advanced form of cancer for the past year, is leaving this world very soon. I found out last wednesday that her liver is failing, and she was given no more than a week to live. And by now she only has a couple of days left, if anything. She has even gotten so far to the point where she cannot communicate or necessarily understand words spoken to her.

This girl has changed my life. not only has she been a faithful friend for years, but the guiding light that she is has opened my eyes. She has made me fall in love with the Gospel of Jesus Christ and changed my entire outlook on life. And not only is she ridiculously strong, but so is her family. They are valiant soldiers. And such good examples to me. I am now more thankful than ever for the knowledge of eternity that I have.

Prayers for me, but especially prayers for her and her family would be so very much appreciated right now. Thank you for your kind hearts.

mucho love.

little things

forgive me. it has definitely been a while. but its not my fault! the last few weeks before the end of the semester are always super crazy for me. so i've kind of told myself that i'm not going to be able to do much blogging until i get back home. oregon, you are so close yet so far!! :(

anyways, i just took this picture like 5 minutes ago. i wanted to show you all one of the simple little things in life that make me really happy. bright red nail polish! seriously there is just something about it that makes me smile. and it also makes me feel pretty. i got this stuff from broulims for like, $1 something.

also a couple more little things that make me happy: 1. singing hymns, 2. watching like three...or four...movies all in one day with my roommates because its saturday and just because we can (which may or may not have happened yesterday), 3. orange slices. the candy kind, not the fruit kind, 4. crest vanilla mint toothpaste, 5. anything coconut, 6. bubble tea! 7. camping, 8. kisses from my little sister, liddy. yep. that sums most of it up.

and oh hey...

check out my extravadance shots! 

realizations

shirt: ross, pants: khols, jacket: F21, shoes: ross

today was good. i got a good amount accomplished!!! i slept in until the glorious time of 12:30 in the afternoon, worked on my video package for my intro to journalism class (huh, do i seem to talk about that class a lot or is it just me? well i get the most homework in that class), chilled out, and went to extravadance! it was nice to be able to actually concentrate on and watch the dances this time. the lovely brooke took my outfit pictures today! i took a few of her too, those might show up here sometime soon :)

look! carlson ave :) my last name is a street! and its funny how i've lived in rexburg for over a year now and i haven't really gotten a decent picture with it. this one, i think, is decent :)

my heart has been touched in so many ways this week. the earthquake in japan has not only kept me up worrying about friends and family but has brought so many realizations to my attention. i realize how important my family is to me. and i also realize how much of a hand God has in our lives, in my life. but the biggest thing i have gotten out of it is that i now TRULY and wholeheartedly know that i am on the right path. i am meant to be a journalist. no matter how terrible the effects of the earthquake are and how dangerous it might be, i have the strongest desire to be there covering it all. somehow, i feel like i could make some kind of a difference that way. 

mucho awkward/awesomeness

shirt: ross (from a looong time ago), cardigan: target, belt: came with a skirt, earrings: claire's 

k so heres the deal, i didn't wear this today but i wore this outfit...well one like it... yesterday. (this picture was taken earlier in the semester) sooo yeah. i felt like i needed SOME kind of outfit picture since i haven't blogged since monday. it won't happen again! notice the box of cheez-its on the shelf...yep thats my main food source. 

since its thursday and i'm going to conform to what all (or...most...) bloggers are doing because of the hilarious sydney from the daybook, i'm gonna start my own awkward and awesome thursdays! starting today! 

awkward: 

-me, with my skinny little chicken arms, lugging around a massive camera case with precious cargo inside...aka a 70-200 mm lens, 1D Mark 2, another lens, etc etc...and looking people in the eye as i walk past them while saying (in my mind..) "nooo, i am not about to fall over thank you very much." 

-elevator rides when there's only one other person in there with you...we all know this is awkward. and its even more awkward when the elevator stops working. yeah.

-being called the name of another redhead from the class since there are three total in the class...and everyone but the teacher knowing he got you mixed up with the other redhead right next to you

-the fact that my face just burns up and turns beet red, beet red i tell ya...whenever i get embarrassed, or sometimes just when something is funny and i'm laughing or when i'm simply talking in class...sorry folks there's nothing i can do about it. so don't point it out because you know it will get worse. 

-these boots. just sayin'.

awesome:

-walking in front of the media lab while a class is going right as an old teacher...from almost a year ago...sees you and WAVES! he recognized me!

-shooting extravadance last night. there's nothing not-awesome about it.

-the weather in rexburg today. bliss.

-planning on going to winger's with a bunch of our roommates and friends tonight for my roommate alisha's birthday for probably a week now...or at least a few days...and me getting a text coupon this morning for buy 1 get 1 free at winger's. and then i texted it to my roommates and they texted it to everyone else. i am awesome. it was fate.

-compliments. they're just awesome.

-knowing that your day will be crazy crazy busy and dreading it but then it ends up just being happy and good for no particular reason at all. 

monday monday

jacket: F21; gifted, shirt: downeast, scarf: walmart, skirt: ross, tights: target, shoes: thrifted 

alfkghlakhalaaa. that's the noise i just made. today....has been....just meh. not terrible, but not fabulous. lets just say its definitely monday. i had to present in my intro to journalism class today and was 20 minutes late because i procrastinated and then had a printer problem and i was going crazy. the i can't breathe i'm gonna bang my head against my computer kind of crazy. which actually happens almost daily. so nbd. also, right after i was done with my presentation and sat down in my desk, i noticed blood on my paper. i looked at my right thumb thinking it was coming from the hang nail i currently have there but that wasn't the source! it was my left thumb! and i had to wait until the presentation after me was finished to go to the bathroom and help my poor little thumb :( and it KEPT bleeding for a while. sorry if that grossed any of you out. but i now have a cute bright purple bandaid on my thumb. anyways. it was so nice in rexburg this morning, the sun was out and i could actually feel WARMTH! but now its all dreary outside. i want the sun to come back! 

oh, i apologize for the lack of excitement in my choice of background as of late for my outfit pictures. its just at the bottom of the stairs to my apartment and the easiest. i promise it will change soon. and hey all! if you like what you see and read here on this little blog i would love it if you'd follow me :) thanks! 

MUCHO love!

secrets

shirt: ross (i think...i've had it for a while), pants: thrifted, shoes: ross, headband: target

little secret about me: i used to DETEST the thought of tucking in shirts. but now its not so bad. huh. and excuse my funky poses at the top...i've found its way difficult to pose myself and make sure my roommate kirsten is taking the picture...since she knows nothing really about photography (bless her heart) but its quicker than a tripod and i love her! you are so darling kirsten and i've gotten so used to your jumping up in bed and mumbling something that i always ignore whenever i come into our bedroom late at night. :)

secret number two: (even though its probably not really a secret, since its pretty obvious) that piece of hair in front of my face= annoying. i want to cut it. but i can't. i'm trying to grow my bangs out.  

anyways, thank goodness its friday. i'm so happy. AND i get to go to the temple tomorrow! it is going to be so worth waking up at the crack of dawn for. i have a lot of things i need to think about and i need to clear my head. 

another little secret: i have a tiny guilty pleasure, if you'd call it that...haha. i love reading the blogs of cute married couples. i love all the adorable little stories and stuff. sometimes it awfully depresses me, because i want that for myself so bad...someone to love for eternity who i KNOW loves me. who i don't have to worry about trusting. but most of the times it just makes me smile because i know it really isn't that far off for me AT ALL. is it weird that i know that even though i don't really have any prospects right now? hmm well i don't care. all i care about right now is my relationship with my Heavenly Father. which i am so entirely grateful for.   

"if there is no struggle, there is no progress." -frederick douglas

-disclaimer- this blog has been revamped!!! yay! i'm pretty excited. i have a new name, new design, new new new!! change is good. plus, i'm trying to enter the blog world more, since so much emphasis has been put on it in all my journalism classes. so we'll see how it goes. you'll be seeing a whole lot more posts from me...probably not every day but at least a couple times a week.

annnnd...i love love love looking at fashion blogs so i'm going to try to do some of that myself too. i mean, most days i just throw on jeans and a hoodie (along with some kind of parka...haha...kidding...) before class, but i do have those days where i try to look particularly cute. and looking cute makes you feel good. so i'm gonna do it more often.

heres what i looked like today:

shirt: mila couture, undershirt: downeast, pants: ross, belt: thrifted, shoes: ross

okay so heres the deal. i love shopping at ross dress for less. its my favorite place. just because the clothes can be so cheap. so the majority of my stuff is from there. but. rexburg doesn't have one. the nearest is IF. sooo i enjoy finding little boutiques around rexburg that aren't too bad, actually. the most recent one is mila couture...where i got the green lace shirt. guess how much i got it for. did you guess $1.05? i bet you didn't. well thats how much it cost me. yeah, amazing, i know. its because mila is not only a boutique with new stuff, but they have a downstairs which they call a "fashion exchange". you can bring in your old clothes or simply just clothes you don't want anymore and they will buy them from you for cash or store credit. and that, my friends, is the story of how i ended up spending a buck oh five on a brand new shirt.

anyyyywhoo...the semester has been pretty....cruddy so far. but i'll spare you the nasty details and just say that my life is now in turn going in a hopefully, fantastic direction. 

mucho love!