readjusting

hello. I'm back! before I say absolutely anything else, look at my sister's face!!!!! isn't she just too gorgeous for her own good? Yeah, I think so too. I'm taking her senior pictures and letting her be one of my senior reps and this was a little trial shoot we did the other night when our family decided to go over to the park before it got dark. and i used my new lens (oh and camera too, by the way. but the lens is even newer)! I'm just a little bit in l.o.v.e with it. see more on facebook or on my business blog. and oh i'm shooting my first wedding on friday! happy happy! 

I'm not going to say much else but that only now in this moment have I really felt like blogging. My life has been such a whirlwind lately, and although I hate sounding like a complainer but I seriously need some kind of outlet besides blabbing off the ear of my mother or one of my best friends! So I'm sorry. But I also kind of want to take this opportunity to express my love for my life, blessings, and the Gospel. So maybe instead of sounding like I'm whining, I'll inspire whoever else happens to stumble upon this little blog. I think thats something I want to be able to do here. (I'm also too hard on myself and that needs to change but we don't have to talk about that I suppose).

Today I realized many things. Risa's (refer to below post) sister Railee, who is equal in best friend-ness as Risa or possibly more since I've had the chance to be around Railee more and I met her first, texted me this morning (well...it was more like 11:30) while I was still in bed and sweetly asked if she could head over to my house in a few minutes. We talked for hours. It's been a couple weeks since Risa's passing and it was a relief I think for the both of us but definitely for me for us to sit and talk. Rai told me  so much about her experiences with Risa and especially of her last experiences with Risa and I think it was able to give me a little bit of the closure I so very much need. There is nothing like losing someone. But, I heard Elder Holland say in a BYU-I devotional from back in 1998 called "Christmas Comfort" (I had to listen to it for a final project for one of my classes this last semester, you can search for it by going here) that "no one can truly experience real love if they have never experienced real loss." I cannot tell you how right he is. He also said that temporary separation at death is just one of the prices we have to pay for love in this world, and that "we can't rejoice over the joy of one's birth and living, unless we are prepared, and understand, and accommodate with some grace, the inevitability, including the untimeliness on occasion, of difficulty, and trouble, and death." Lets just say that this Easter will be very special for me and the people around me. Risa's funeral is on saturday and I am looking forward to the peace it will bring me. Does that make sense? I hope so. Excuse me for taking up so much of this post. I can't help it.

It's been harder to readjust to life at home and in a family again (oh byu-idaho and your three-track system) especially with the stresses I'm supposed to be letting go off, (and while having some roommate withdrawals) than i thought it would be. But that's okay. I have people who love me and that's all that matters.

I've been thinking about how to use this blog lately, and how to get more followers/readers, and if that's really important to me or not. All I want to do is bring some sunshine into other people's days, and find a way for me to be an over-all better person. So I think I will use this to post outfit pictures here and there to make sure I actually look presentable, to share photos of the simple things in my life so I appreciate them more, to share inspiring thoughts so my heart stays happy, and to maybe even possibly share recipes or writings or cute ideas of mine, etc. so I don't just sit here on my bum all day.